I’ve got a request to all the funny and good humoured music lovers that kinda know what they are talking about and who would be willing to help me and my non-professional company in the creation of a website that’s (according to my hopes) gonna kick everybody else’s site in the metaphorical ass. The site is going to be all about multimedia, with the main focus being – of course (since, besides being in love with a girl, am also in love with Rock/Hardrock/Heavy Metal music) – on MUSIC. We want to have reviews of practically EVERY BAND that has every had any impact on the music business and not just in the area of rock, but in every other musical area as well. So far, we’ve got like 150 or so, self-written reviews, but obviously that’s not enough. At this point we’re having people with various musical preferences involved, so I hope there’s going to be some major progress soon. The site is hopefully going to be launched this summer (summer of not 69, but 2004).
Now, if you would be willing to help, that would be FANTASTIC! Of course, you’re going to get CREDIT for the review you’ve written and you’re going to be mentioned in the “THANKS” section of the website. Unfortunately that’s all we can give back to you, because this site is not going to make any profit, it’s just merely for the love of music. That also means no banners, no pop ups, etc. There’s going to be a forum, and when I say Forum I mean an AWESOME Forum, and a Chat, besides many other things. Just the ultimate place to be, for a music fan!
As for the reviews, they should be about 1/2, till 1½ standard word pages long, when using Font Times New Roman 12. It would be also great if you had a short summary in the end. An important aspect of your Review is, it SHOULD be Funny!! I’ve read quite some stuff on this board (now comes the obvious sucking up part) and I know you guys have got some humor. So, yeah, that’s very important, we want competent but at the same time entertaining reviews!
You can also give a SUGGESTED rating on a scale from 0% – 100%, with 100% being a classic (for example Pink Floyd’s “The Dark Side Of The Moon”) and 0% just absolute **** (50 Cent in general).
Bare in mind, however, that the rating of your review DEPENDS ON THE ARTIST. For example, The Dark Side Of The Moon is getting a 100%, and so is Judas Priest’s “Painkiller”. That doesn’t mean that both albums are equally good. It depends on which band you prefer, but a 100% means that this is the best album that this artist is capable of doing. One artist can have more than one 100% reviews, since in theory, every artist can produce as many albums at full potential as he/she wants.
However, every artist is graded on the quality of his/her works in general. This won’t affect your album review but just so you know, artists are rated like the reviews on http://www.amazon.com, with stars. Five Star artists are those artists that, in our opinion, produce the best music.
Just to name a few five star artists: Iron Maiden, Pink Floyd, Scorpions, Deep Purple, Metallica, Michael Jackson (yeah I know…but he is outstanding in the pop genre, and definitely way better than all those embarrassing record company whores out there), Led Zeppelin, Queen, Beatles, Radiohead, etc. One star artists basically are artists whose main focus is to terrorize the world with their music. These include people such as the already mentioned 50 Cent, Gigi D’Agostino, and Eiffel 65 – Shaggy for example would get one star but for some reason we gave him the “dumbass-bonus”, so he’s in the two star category at the moment.
Anyway, I think you get the idea. According to a formula, the artist-related rating is “transcalculated” to the General Rating of an album, so if 50 Cent makes an album at his highest potential, which would be a 100%, he’d probably still get something like 30% in the General Rating. This way, we show fans of the artist the quality of the album that would probably about reflect his opinion, and the General Rating, which is what we think the album deserves. So, it’s kind of a compromise. However, if, for some reason, you decide to write a Linkin Park album (which actually would be great, cause we need those bands too), please DISS the band, MAKE FUN of them and their album, and whatever else, it’s gotta have some entertainment value. However, at the same time you should also retain some objectivity and display some, and I hate to use this word, professionalism.
Concerning which album is being reviewed, there are no rules, you can review ANY ALBUM that has officially been published by a record company. However, as far as I can tell, I think we've got the scorpions back catalog finished. But if you want to you can still write a review which we're gonna use if its better than the one that we've already got;-)
To come to a conclusion, I’ve come to this board because I am of the belief that Scorpions fans generally have a good musical taste and their opinions probably kinda reflect our opinions as well.
If you could write and send us your review, that be really awesome and very helpful indeed! If you want to, you can post the review on this thread, or, which would come in a little bit more handy, send it to email@example.com, or firstname.lastname@example.org, though I’m not entirely sure if that one’s working at the moment.
PS.: You can also write rants, and make fun of an artist of any kind, a book, an album, a movie, your lunch, whatever.
PPS.: If you decide to write reviews of a band, it would be helpful if you also review the lesser known, less acclaimed or less successful albums. You know, just so we don’t get like, no reviews of, eg. “Lonesome Crow” but at the same time 257 “Blackout” reviews.
MANY THANKS ALREADY TO EVERYBODY WHO IS WILLING TO HELP US AND PARTICIPATE IN THIS AMBITIOUS MUSICAL PROJECT!