SHARING FUNNY JOKE!!!!

by **Funnynunny** » August 15th, 2003, 11:54 pm

i HAD RECIEVED THIS JOKE IN MY EMAIL FROM A DEAR FRIEND OF MINE THAT I HAVE TO SHARE WITH ALL OF YOU DIE HARD SCORPS FANS! PLEASE NO MEN GET OFFENDED OK? THEN NAME OF THE JOKE IS CALLED..MEN GOTTA BE AT FAULT SOMEHOW...ok everyone its goes like this...MENtal illness...MENstrual breakdown....MENopause...GUYnecologist....AND....when we have REAL trouble, it's a HISterectomy. Ever notice how all of women's problems sart with men?...now at the bottome of the joke it says...Send this to all the women you know to brighten their day. and on the next page it says...send this to all the men just to annoy them...have a awesome beautiful morning afternoon and evening all you darling die hard scorps fans!!!! peace out funnynunny

by **olfie** » August 16th, 2003, 1:05 am

So you wanna play rough ,eh??
What's the difference between a woman with PMS and a pitbull?
Lipstick
As a man, I gotta shoot back(all for fun)

by **Funnynunny** » August 16th, 2003, 1:27 am

well done and said olfie lol well said...i didn't expect anyone to reply back with a joke thank you i ahve to remember that one lol and i wasn't trying to do what ya think but oh well let the fun begin!!!!.....ok here is a joke for all of, that i do hope you enjoy very much ok? its called a man was feeling very depressed and walked into a bar and!!!...a man was feeling very depressed and walked into a bar and ordered a triple scotch whiskey. as the bartender poured him the drink he remarkedthat's quite a heavy drink. what's wrong?"...after quickly downing his drink, the man replied, ?i got home and found my wife having sex with my best friend."..."wow" exclaimed the bartender, as he poured the man a second triple scotch. "no wonder you needed a stiff drink. the second triple is on the house." as the man downed his second triple scotch, the bartender asked him "what did you do?" "I walked over to my wife," the man replied looked her straight in the eye and told her that we were through and to pack her stuff and to get the hell out." "that makes sense," said the bartenderbut what about your friend?" the man replied i walked over to him, and looked right in the eye and said, BAD DOG! BAD DOG!.... lmaooooooo enjoy everyone

by **olfie** » August 16th, 2003, 1:36 am

-good one!
What's an Irish queer?
A man who prefers a woman over the bottle.

Just a joke everyone-I got Irish blood and I know we're all drunks

by **Funnynunny** » August 16th, 2003, 1:50 am

olfie cool irish joke and no i'm not a drunk!! lol here is another joke ok? it's called...YOUR KID HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED!! a blonde, out of money and down on her luck after buying air at a real bargain, needed money desperately. to raise cash, she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom. she went to the local playground, grabbed a kid and randomly, took her behind a building, told her "i've kidnapped you." she then wrote a big note sayingi've kidnapped your kid. tomorow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and leave it under the apple tree next to the slides on the south side of the playground. signed a blonde." the blonde then pinned the note to the kids shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. the next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the apple tree. the blonde looked in the bag and found the $10.000 with a note that saidhow could you do this to a fellow blonde?"...lmaoooooooo...

by **olfie** » August 16th, 2003, 4:12 pm

Here's another one:Three men die and reach the gates of heaven at the same time.One is American,one is British and one is Canadian.When they get there,St.Peter is waiting for them at the gates.St.Peter says,"Each one of you has to show me an object and relate it's significance to the Christmas story, I don't care what it is, but if you have nothing you don't get into heaven!!!"

The three men looked at each other rather confused but decided to give it a try or it's gonna be the fires of hell.

The American guy steps up first.He pulls out his car keys shaking them and says,"Look St.Peter, it's the Christmas bells" St.Peter replies,"That's ok, you may pass into heaven!"

The British guy steps up next.He pulls out the keyless entry remote for his car clicking it on and off.He says to St.Peter,"Look St.Peter,see the little red light on top of my car remote as I click it on and off,it's the Christmas star" St.Peter says,"Well, thats pretty clever,for a moment I wasn't sure what you were up to but you may pass into heaven"

Canadian guy steps up last.He is a little worried and not sure of himself but gives it a go.He pulls out of his pocket a pair of panties and starts waving them around. St.Peter shouts,"What in the name of God does that have to do with the Christmas story!!??"
Canadian guy repliesThere Carol's"

by **giggs11** » August 17th, 2003, 2:42 pm

realy funny ones guys i laughed like a crazy man , keep the jokes comin my man!!!!!!!!!!

by **Funnynunny** » August 18th, 2003, 2:32 am

ok olfie and giggs you want another joke huh? ok fine i will but i would like everyone to know no matter who they are..your more then welcome to reply some funny jokes as well ok?...ok now the joke...its called DON'T GIVE US A BAD NAME! there was a blonde driving down the road listening to the radio. the announcer was telling blonde joke after blonde joke until the blonde was so mad that she turned her radio off. a mile down the road, she saw another blonde out in a corn field in a boat rowing. the blonde stopped her car jumped out and yelled its blondes like you that give us all a bad name. if i could swim i'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"...lmao enjoy everyone!!!!

by **giggs11** » August 18th, 2003, 12:51 pm

hehehehehehhe u always make my day my man!!!!!!!!!!

by **Funnynunny** » August 19th, 2003, 2:55 am

giggs i hope your tummy isn't hurting from laughing so hard but here is another on lol...a plane is on its way to montreal when a blonde isn economy class gets up and moves to the first clas section and sits down. the flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket. she then tells the blonde that she paid for economy and that she will have to go sit in the back. the blonde replies "i'm blonde, i'm beautiful, i'm going to montreal and i'm staying right here!" the flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and co-pilot that there is some blonde bimbo sitting in first class that belongs in economy and won't move back to her seat. the co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for economy she will have to leave and return to her seat. the blonde repliesi'm blonde, i'm beautiful, i'm going to montreal and i'm staying right here!" the co-pilot tells the pilot that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman that won't listen to reason. the pilot says "i'll handle this. i'm married to a blonde and i ahve learned to speak 'blonde'!" he goes back to the blonde, whispers in her ear, and with out question she gets up and moves back to her seat in the economy section. the flight attendant and the co=pilot are amazed and ask him what he said to make her move without a fuss. "i told her first class isn't going to montreal."....lmaoooooo

by **havocec** » August 19th, 2003, 1:59 pm

the blondes and brunettes are on opposing teams in the bowling league. both teams make it to the playoffs. as a gesture of good sportsmanship, they share the rental of a double-decker bus to take them to the tournament. once on the bus the brunettes take the bottom and the blondes go up top. the brunettes are having a blast, laughing and whooping it up. someone notices that the blondes aren't making a sound. one of the brunettes goes upstairs to check. she finds the blondes paralyzed in terror, gripping the back of the seat in front of them, their faces frozen in fear. "What's going on?" asks the brunetteWe're having a great time downstairs, Why don't you relax and have some fun? Chill out and enjoy the ride." "Easy for you to say", replies one of the blondes "You have a driver". ba dum ba ching.

oh, and people always send me the joke about the blonde on the runaway horse because I take riding lessons but I can't remember all of it.

by **giggs11** » August 19th, 2003, 6:01 pm

ahhh i bursted my tummy wth allur jokes ,heheheheheheh keep it comin and i really apreaciate it !!!!!!!!!!! , sorry i dont have that many jokes to tell

by **Funnynunny** » August 19th, 2003, 6:47 pm

ok everyone here is another joke? oh by the way havocec thanks for the private joke to funny lol...this joke is caleed veterans benefits?.... a guy goes to the government to interview for a job. the interviewer asks himare you a veteran?" the guy sayswhy yes, in fact, i served 2 tours in vietnam." "good," says the interviewerthat counts in your favor. do you have any service-related disabilities?" the guy saysin fact i am 100% disabled. during the batle, an explosion removed my private parts so they declared me disabled, it doesn't affect my ability to work, though." "sorry to hear about the damage, but i have some good news for you, i can hire you right now! our working hours are 8 to 4. come on in about 10, and we'll get you started." the guy saysif working hours are from 8 to 4, why do you want me to come in at 10?" "well, here at the government, we don't do anything but sit around and scratch our balls for the first 2 hours. no point of your coming in for that. lmaooooooooo enjoy everyone!!!!

by **giggs11** » August 19th, 2003, 7:05 pm

very funny girl hehehehehehehehehehehehhehe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

by **Funnynunny** » August 19th, 2003, 7:58 pm

ok here is the joke for today for everyone to get a good bursting laugh ok? a new guy in town walks into a bar and reads a sign that hangs over the bar... FREE BEER! FREE BEER FOR THE PERSON WHO CAN PASS THE TEST! so the guy asks the bartender what the test is. bartender replies "well, first you have to drink that whole gallon of pepper tequila, the WHOLE thing at once and you can't make a face while doing it. second, theres a gator out back with a sore tooth...you have to remove it with your bare hands. third, there's a woman up-stairs who's never had an orgasim. you gotta make things right for her." the guy sayswell, as much as i would love free beer, i won't do it. you have to be nuts to drink a gallon of pepper tequila and then get crazier from there. well, as time goes on and the drinks a few, he askswherez zat teeqeelah?" he grabs the gallon of tequila with both hands, and downs it with a big slurp and tears streaming down his face. next, he staggers out back and soon all the people inside hear the most frightening roaring and thumping, then silence. the man staggers back into the bar, his shirt ripped and a big scratches all over his body. "now" he says "where's that woman with the sore tooth?" lmaooooooo...incase all of you would like to know where i get these jokes please log onto http://www.lotsofjokes.com.....enjoy everyone!!!

by **olfie** » August 19th, 2003, 9:11 pm

Two blonde women were driving down the highway when suddenly they were in a massive hailstorm.After the hailstorm,the driver blonde was very upset about the dents all over her car.She pulled into a body shop to see what the mechanics would say and get an estimate of the repairs.The mechanic seeing it was two women, especially two blondes, decided to have a little fun. He saidWell,madam, that is a lot of dents in your car and it's going to cost several thousand dollars to fix it plus a new paint job, but there is a cheaper way"
"Oh,I can't pay that kind of money,please tell me a cheaper way to fix it" replied the woman.The mechanic replied,"If you get on your knees and blow really really hard into the exhaust pipe,you should be able to blow all the dents out"
So she gets on her knees and starts blowing as hard as she can into the exhaust pipe.After a minute or so, her blonde friend shouts out,"There's no dents popping back out, OH wait I forgot to roll up the windows!"

by **anna** » August 20th, 2003, 8:40 am

great! thanks for bringing me some laugh!

by **giggs11** » August 20th, 2003, 12:59 pm

hehehehehehehehehahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the best jokes are in ta da house man!!!!!!!!!!!

by **Funnynunny** » August 21st, 2003, 8:11 pm

omg olfie to funny...lmaoooooooooooo.....ahahahahahahahahaha so cool i'm glad everyone is having a great laugh...ahahahahahahahahahaaaa..

by **Funnynunny** » August 21st, 2003, 9:18 pm

this joke is called A TAX CUT AS EXPLAINED BY A DEMOCRAT!.. if you don't understand the democrats' version of tax cuts, maybe this will help explain: 50,000 people go to a baseball game, but the game was rained out. a refund was then due. the team was about to mail refunds when the congressional democrats stopped them and suggested that they send out refund amounts based on the democrat national committee's interpretation of fairness. after all, if the refunds were made based on the price each person paid for the tickets, most of the money would go to the ticket holders of the most expensive tickets. that would be unfair and unconscionable. therefore, here is the new deal: people in the $10 seats will get back $15, because they have less money to spen. call it an "earned income ticket credit." people in the $25 seats will get back $25, because that's only fair. people in the $50 seats will get back $1, because they already make a lot of money and don't need a refund. after all, if they cann aford a $50 ticket, then they must not bepaying enough taxes. people in the $75 luxury seats will have to pay another $50, becausethey have way too much to spend. the people driving or walking by the stadium who couldn't afford to watch the game will get $10 each, even though they didn't pay anything in, because they need the most help. now do you understand? if not, contact representative richard gephardt, senator tom daschle or senator hillary clinton for assistance....lmaoooooo!!

SHARING FUNNY JOKE!!!!

SHARING FUNNY JOKE!!!!

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