SHARING FUNNY JOKE!!!!

[Daniel Gartsman]

They may be acceptable in a company of men only. Though I doubt that they would be accepted by all men.

1) Not only
2) Except those who are bummed out

[fos daddy]

A guy walks into a furniture store and says id like to buy the most gayest chair you have.
The store employee says i have just the thing .. its brown and white and looks like a seashell.
The guy says ill take it ..
The store employee asked .. so why do you want this chair ..
And the guy says .. because i wanna sit like a lady in it ...

[fos daddy]

Justin Bieber has a new Christmas Cd availble ..
The 9 months of Christmas ...
He says its not his

[fos daddy]

LITTLE JOHNNY STRIKES AGAIN


The teacher asked the class to use the word 'fascinate' in a sentence.

Molly put up her hand and said, 'My family went to my granddad's farm,

and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.'

The teacher said, 'That was good, but I wanted you to use the word

'fascinate, not fascinating'.

Sally raised her hand. She said, 'My family went to see RockCity and

I was 'fascinated.' The teacher said, 'Well, that was good Sally, but I

wanted you to use the word 'fascinate.'

Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated

because she had

been burned by Little Johnny before.

She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word

'fascinate', so she called on him.

Johnny said, 'My aunt Gina has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits

are so big she can only fasten eight.'

The teacher sat down and cried.

[phuong]

My sister V: oh I loveeeee Scorpions!
(after listening to Life Is Too Short): is it Coldplay?

[DeepAndDark]

My sister V: oh I loveeeee Scorpions!
(after listening to Life Is Too Short): is it Coldplay?

[Gabi6912]

LITTLE JOHNNY STRIKES AGAIN


The teacher asked the class to use the word 'fascinate' in a sentence.

Molly put up her hand and said, 'My family went to my granddad's farm,

and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.'

The teacher said, 'That was good, but I wanted you to use the word

'fascinate, not fascinating'.

Sally raised her hand. She said, 'My family went to see RockCity and

I was 'fascinated.' The teacher said, 'Well, that was good Sally, but I

wanted you to use the word 'fascinate.'

Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated

because she had

been burned by Little Johnny before.

She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word

'fascinate', so she called on him.

Johnny said, 'My aunt Gina has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits

are so big she can only fasten eight.'

The teacher sat down and cried.

Haaha, it was funny, I like little Johny-jokes.
His hungarian "siblings" are: little Stewie, and little Maurice.

[Hans]

after a plane crash a rocker lands on an lonely island. After ten years he stands on the shore and sees how something approaches the island. It's too small for being a boat and then it turns out that it is a very sexy female diver. She asks him: When was the last time you had a smoke? And he replied "Ten years ago when I came to this island" she opened her wetsuit and takes out a package of cigarettes. The rocker takes one and is happy. Then she asks "when did you have your last drink?" ... he "ten years ago when I landed here" she opened her wetsuit a little more and gives him a bottle of whiskey. The rocker takes a mouthful and is even more happy. Then she opened her wetsuit a little more, you could see her voluminous and well formed breast and asks "and when was the last time you had real fun? The Rocker "Is it possible? Do you have a Harley Davidson with you?"

[fos daddy]

after a plane crash a rocker lands on an lonely island. After ten years he stands on the shore and sees how something approaches the island. It's too small for being a boat and then it turns out that it is a very sexy female diver. She asks him: When was the last time you had a smoke? And he replied "Ten years ago when I came to this island" she opened her wetsuit and takes out a package of cigarettes. The rocker takes one and is happy. Then she asks "when did you have your last drink?" ... he "ten years ago when I landed here" she opened her wetsuit a little more and gives him a bottle of whiskey. The rocker takes a mouthful and is even more happy. Then she opened her wetsuit a little more, you could see her voluminous and well formed breast and asks "and when was the last time you had real fun? The Rocker "Is it possible? Do you have a Harley Davidson with you?"

LOL Han's .. i heard it differantly .. i may have posted this once but would be forever looking here for it

[fos daddy]

Mad Cow Disease

A female TV reporter went to have an interview with a farmer seeking the main cause of Mad Cow disease

The Lady : Good evening Sir, we are here to collect information about the reason that causes Mad Cow Disease. Do you have any idea what might be the reason?

The Farmer stared at the reporter and said, Do you know that the bull *** the cow once a year?

The Lady (getting embarrassed): "Well sir, that's a new piece of information, but what's the relation between this phenomenon and Mad Cow Disease?

The Farmer : Well Madam, do you know that we milk the cow four times a day ?

The Lady : Sir, this is really valuable information, but what about getting to the point?

The Farmer : I am getting to the point Madam. Just imagine, if I was playing with your tits four times a day and only *** you once a year, wouldn't you get mad?

[fos daddy]

A balding, white haired man from Ft. Lauderdale in Florida , walked into a jewelry store this past Friday evening with a beautiful much younger gal at his side.

He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.

The man said, 'No, I'd like to see something more special.'

At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. 'Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000 the jeweler said. The lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, 'We'll take it.'

The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the man stated, 'by check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon.'

On Monday morning, the jeweler angrily phoned the old man and said 'There's no money in that account.'

'I know,' said the old man,

'But let me tell you about MY GREAT WEEKEND!'

[Hans]

why are married men fatter than single men?
The single men comes from work, looks what's in the refrigerator and goes to bed.
The married man comes from work, looks what's in bed and goes to the refrigerator

[fos daddy]

I pointed to two old drunks sitting across the bar from us and told my friend .....

"That's us in 10 years".

He said "That's a mirror, ***!

[Marta]

http://www.kwejk.pl/obrazek/737199/chop,suey.html

so true

[Adrian]

I pointed to two old drunks sitting across the bar from us and told my friend .....

"That's us in 10 years".

He said "That's a mirror, ***!

[Leb Yellow Butterfly]

I have something shared on Facebook that I found so funny..here it is:
http://www.facebook.com/?sk=h_chr#!/pho ... =1&theater

[DeepAndDark]

So true about the ID card! However, last time I changed my ID I was lucky at least to resemble myself.

[Leb Yellow Butterfly]

lol Galya, my id photo is from 1999

[fos daddy]

The Deaf Italian Bookkeeper

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him out of $10,000,000.00

His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place.

It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing so he would not have to testify in court.

When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language.

The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the money is!

The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, Where's the money?

Guido signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about." The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you are talking about" The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido's head and says, "Ask him again or I'll kill him!"

The lawyer signs to Guido, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him."

Guido trembles and signs back, "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno's house.

The Godfather asks the lawyer, "What did he say?" The lawyer replies, "He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger."


Don't you just love lawyers?

[fos daddy]

A bunch of blondes walk into a restaurant celebrating and chanting "28 days, 28 days, it only took us 28 days!!"

Everyone was wondering what took them 28 days and why they were celebrating. Finally, when the blondes were about to leave, a waitor goes up and asks "What took you 28 days, why are you celebrating??"

All the blondes say "We just finished a puzzle in 28 days and on the box it said 3-6 years!!!"