SHARING FUNNY JOKE!!!!

[aaronmark]

So you wanna play rough ,eh??
What's the difference between a woman with PMS and a pitbull?
Lipstick
As a man, I gotta shoot back(all for fun)

Its a normal things for joking

now every one like funny joke it will be used as a medicine also

[fos daddy]

Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing

Some on sale, he bought them and wore them home.


Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife,

"Notice anything different about me?"


Margaret looked him over. "Nope."


Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into

The kitchen completely naked except for the boots.


Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, "Notice anything

Different NOW?"


Margaret looked up and said in her best deadpan, "Bert, what's different?

It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down

Again tomorrow."


Furious, Bert yelled, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN,

MARGARET?"


"Nope. Not a clue", she replied.


"IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!"


Without missing a beat Margaret replied, "Shoulda bought a hat, Bert.

Shoulda bought a hat."

.

[fos daddy]

A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class.

She came to the part of the story where first pig was trying to gather
the building materials for his home.

She read. 'And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow
full of straw and said: 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that
straw to build my house?'

The teacher paused then asked the class: 'And what do you think
the man said?'

One little boy raised his hand and said very matter-of-factly...

'I think the man would have said - 'I'll be a son of a ***!! A talking pig!'

[DeepAndDark]

Two fish are sitting in a tank, and one turns to the other and says,

"Do you know how to drive this thing?"

[phuong]

Not really a joke but:

Two prisoners are informed that they'll be hung at 2am tomorrow, one of the two says to the other: "Damn, hanging in the morning, then what's else for the rest of the day?"

And: To be together you have ToGetHer

[fos daddy]

Rookies
A blind man walks past a fish market early one morning and says ...
Good morning ladies

[fos daddy]

There was a knock on the door this morning. I opened it to find a young man standing there who said: "I'm a Jehovah's Witness."

I said "Come in and sit down, what do you want to talk about?"

He said, "Beats the *** out of me, I've never gotten this far before."

[fos daddy]

One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife, 'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in 'Slim Fast'. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!'



His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded.

The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. 'What the heck is this?' he said to himself as a little 'dust' cloud appeared when he shook them out.



'Dorothy', he hollered into the bathroom, 'Why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?'

She replied with a snicker. 'It's not talcum powder; it's 'Miracle Grow'!!!!! !

[phuong]

Throw a book in someone's face...
"What the hell is that for???"
I facebooked you

[DeepAndDark]

Good one, Phuong!

[fos daddy]

Why did the chicken cross the road ?
To Get to the other side

Why did the squirrel cross the road
To check my tire pressure

[fos daddy]

Why didnt the skeleton cross the road ?

Because he didnt have the guts

.

[fos daddy]

An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other. Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"

Neighbors feared him. They believed he practiced magic, because of the many strange occurrences that took place in their neighborhood. The old man liked the fact that he was feared. ---To everyone's relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 98.

His wife had a closed casket at the wake. After the burial, she went straight to the local bar and began to party, as if there was no tomorrow. Her neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked, "Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way out of the grave and haunt you for the rest of your life?"

The wife put down her drink and said, "Let him dig. I had him buried upside down. And you know men won't ask for directions..."

[Funnynunny]

A dying granny tells her granddaughter, "I want to leave you my farm, that includes the villa, the tractor and other equipment, the farmhouse and 22,398,750 in cash." The granddaughter, about to be rich, says, "Oh my granny, you are so generous. I didn't even know you had a farm. Where is it?" With her last breath, her granny whispered, "Facebook."...

[fos daddy]

The Hurricane vs The Relationship

More trees go down during a hurricane

[Funnynunny]

Two wives go out for girls night. Both got drunk, started walking home and had to pee. They stopped at a cemetery but had nothing to wipe with. One used her panties the other grabbed a wreath off a grave. The next morning one husband called the other and said "no more girls night out! my wife came back with no panties." the other husband said, "you think that's bad? mine came back with a card in her crack that read 'from all of us at the fire station..we'll never forget you!!

[fos daddy]

An elderly couple were on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the boat watching the storm, when a wave came up and washed the old man overboard. They searched for days and couldn't find him, so the captain sent the old woman back to shore with the promise that he would notify her as soon as they found something. Three weeks went by and finally the old woman got a fax from the boat. It read: 'Ma'am, sorry to inform you, we found your husband dead at the bottom of the ocean. We hauled him up to the deck and attached to his butt was an oyster and in it was a pearl worth $50,000. Please advise.' The old woman faxed back: 'Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap.'

[fos daddy]

How can you tell your mistress is gaining weight
She can fit in your wifes clothes

[fos daddy]

The Fabulous Frog


A woman went into a store to buy her husband a pet for his birthday.
After looking around, she found that all the pets were very expensive.
She told the clerk she wanted to buy a pet, but she didn't want to spend
a fortune.

"Well," said the clerk, "I have a very large bullfrog.
They say it's been trained to give blow jobs!"

"Blow jobs!" the woman exclaimed.

"It hasn't been proven but we've sold 30 of them this month," he said.

The woman thought it would be a great gag gift, and what if it's true...
no
more blow jobs for her! She bought the frog.

When she explained froggy's ability to her husband, he was extremely
skeptical and laughed it off.

The woman went to bed happy, thinking she may never need to perform this
less than riveting act again.
In the middle of the night, she was awakened by the noise of pots
and pans flying everywhere, making hellacious banging and crashing
sounds.

She ran downstairs to the kitchen, only to find her husband and the frog
reading cookbooks.

"What are you two doing at this hour?" she asked.

The husband replied, "If I can teach this frog to cook, you're gone.

[Freshly Squeezed]

Bob forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was mad. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!!" The next morning when his wife woke up, she looked out the window to find a box… gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. . . Bob has been missing since Friday!